In the third grade I won the "Author of the Month" at St. Mary's School in Shrewsbury, Massachusetts for a poem I wrote about bears and Thanksgiving. At the time my aspirations were to become a poet, a teacher, or the owner of a pizza restaurant where third graders could hang out.

At Georgetown I won the “Funniest Person on Campus" contest and the chance to perform at the D.C. Improv. They were so impressed they hired me to bus tables.

From there I took my jokes to New York City, where I was fired as a temp at Pfizer for repeatedly falling asleep at my desk . I proceeded to drive my mom’s old station wagon to comedy clubs all over America until my mechanic would no longer take my calls.

Since that time I’ve had three Comedy Central Presents specials and appeared a bunch of times on Conan O’Brien, David Letterman, Jimmy Kimmel and Jimmy Fallon. I was even on The View once with Nathan Lane to chat about my Off-Broadway show, Sleepwalk with Me. I’ve performed at The Just for Laughs Festival in Montreal, The Kilkenny Arts Festival and three times at Bonnaroo. I'm also a regular contributor on This American Life and The Bob & Tom Show and I'm writing a book and a movie.

I live in New York where one day I hope to own a pizza restaurant where 31-year-olds can hang out.